Jokes - http://maxpages.com/state/Pick_Up_Lines

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Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Congressional Medal of Honor?
or
Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Nobel Peace Prize?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 192 =------------------------------------------------

He: Would you sleep with me for 20 million dollars?
She (sheepishly): Yes.
He: Well then, would you sleep with me for 20 cents?
She: No, what kind of woman do you think I am?
He: We've established what kind of woman that you are, we're just haggling over
the price.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 193 =------------------------------------------------

Take an icecube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice,
will you sleep with me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 194 =------------------------------------------------

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 195 =------------------------------------------------

Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew..

-= pick-up line humor =-= 196 =------------------------------------------------

You know, I've *always* wanted to sleep with you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 197 =------------------------------------------------

Do you sleep on your stomach?
No.
Can I?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 198 =------------------------------------------------

Haven't I slept with you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 199 =------------------------------------------------

Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 200 =------------------------------------------------

If you spot a girl waiting in a restaurant/theater/club for someone, go up to
her and say...

If he doesn't show up, I'll be right over here.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 201 =------------------------------------------------

I think we must make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 202 =------------------------------------------------

You could use some more protein in your diet. Wanna try out some of my fine
meat?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 203 =------------------------------------------------

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 204 =------------------------------------------------

I bet you've caused a lot of bar brawls.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 205 =------------------------------------------------

Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your willy, and say:
Hey Charlie, see anyone here you recognize?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 206 =------------------------------------------------

I require a tissue sample. May I sever a little-used portion of your body?
(brandish forceps)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 207 =------------------------------------------------

Hey, wanna see my R2-D2 impersonation? (Think about it...)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 208 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby...infect me!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 209 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby...can you suck the chrome off a bumper?!?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 210 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby...can you suck the chrome off a trailer hitch?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 211 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 212 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby...can you suck start a Harley?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 213 =------------------------------------------------

I'll suck you so hard that you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when
I'm finished.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 214 =------------------------------------------------

Motion your finger to a girl to get her to come your way. When she arrives say,
"I knew if I fingered you long enough, you would come."
or
"Do you always come when someone fingers you?"
or
"If I can make you come with one finger, just think what I could do with the
rest."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 215 =------------------------------------------------

There's something about you that I like. I just can't put my finger on it.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 216 =------------------------------------------------

Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 217 =------------------------------------------------

I saw you at the party last weekend and you look kind of interesting... Let's
meet sometime...

-= pick-up line humor =-= 218 =------------------------------------------------

God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 219 =------------------------------------------------

The front reads:
+-----------------------------------+
|No Phone No Business|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| No Name |
| |
| |
| |
| |
|No Address No Money|
+-----------------------------------+

And the back reads:
+-----------------------------------+
| I'M A SILENT SEDUCER |
| |
|Any chance to get into bed with you|
|tonight? If so, keep the card; if |
|not, kindly return it because they |
|are expensive. I'm not as good as |
|I once was. But I'm good once as I|
|ever was! |
| |
|P.S. You don't have to say yes |
| Just Smile!|
+-----------------------------------+

-= pick-up line humor =-= 220 =------------------------------------------------

Give a girl a business card with the following:

Plain Facts

Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four
minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the
average length is six inches, the average girl receives two hundred and sixteen
inches or eighteen feet per intercourse. The average girl does it three times a
week, fifty weeks a year, and so 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just a little
over half a mile.

So girls, if you are not getting your half a mile a year, why not let the man
who gave you this card help you to catch up!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 221 =------------------------------------------------

No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 222 =------------------------------------------------

Be unique and different, say yes.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 223 =------------------------------------------------

Will you marry me and have my children? (unfortunate side-effects: beware!)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 224 =------------------------------------------------

If you ever want to see your children again, you'll do what I want.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 225 =------------------------------------------------

You're hitchhiking across the Mojave Desert? Alone?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 226 =------------------------------------------------

Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here
after.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 227 =------------------------------------------------

I'm really sorry about Al. It was a lovely funeral. You look ravishing in black,
did you know that? What you need now is a nice backrub. Are the straps too
tight, darling? How tragic. How very, very tragic.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 228 =------------------------------------------------

It's absolutely pure Bolivian. And I don't *give* it away.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 229 =------------------------------------------------

You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat
me to it.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 230 =------------------------------------------------

Would you like to be in movies?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 231 =------------------------------------------------

Perhaps you recognize me from one of the popular adult movies I was in.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 232 =------------------------------------------------

Gosh, I loved your movie!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 233 =------------------------------------------------

May I have your autograph?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 234 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, do you live around here often?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 235 =------------------------------------------------

Would you like to see a baby picture of me?
(Shows the girl the picture of a baby better endowed that most men.)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 236 =------------------------------------------------

Let's give our genes a chance to become congenial.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 237 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby, let's go make some babies.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 238 =------------------------------------------------

Do you want to go halves on a baby?
or
Do you want to go halves on a bastard?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 239 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, I'm taking a survey. Do you spit or swallow?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 240 =------------------------------------------------

Is it just me, or does everyone here seem to have a pick-up line?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 241 =------------------------------------------------

Is it me or are we the only two in here not trying to score?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 242 =------------------------------------------------

You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book... So what's
one more??

-= pick-up line humor =-= 243 =------------------------------------------------

One pickup line that might get a laugh, if nothing else, is:

Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 244 =------------------------------------------------

Hypothetically, what pickup lines are effective with a person like you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 245 =------------------------------------------------

You make me so nervous and flustered, I've completely forgotten my standard
pick-up line.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 246 =------------------------------------------------

I'm not picking you up. I've picked you out.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 247 =------------------------------------------------

What would it take for a guy like me to go out with a girl like you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 248 =------------------------------------------------

Hey babe, did you know I'm on the Harvard Mailing List?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 249 =------------------------------------------------

What's your sign?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 250 =------------------------------------------------

And a subtle approach:

Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose.
What?
(reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP.
(If she laughs, she's yours; if she looks at you funny, apologize.)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 251 =------------------------------------------------

Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 252 =------------------------------------------------

Follow these instructions:
1: Make sure that you are in the front of the person you're trying to attract.
2: Put your hands in a vertical plane and separate your hands to the proper
distance you want to get across.
3: Look at the person of your affections and with a ear-to-ear grin, shake your
head up and down as to reply that you're this big!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 253 =------------------------------------------------

Whatever you do, don't ever cut that silky hair of yours!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 254 =------------------------------------------------

There's the old classic from the movie "Fletch" (to girl in towel):
Excuse me, could I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 255 =------------------------------------------------

I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 256 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, can I borrow your bra?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 257 =------------------------------------------------

She: What do you think of this (dress, sweater, article of clothing)?
He: I like nothing better.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 258 =------------------------------------------------

I want to bear all your children. (to a woman)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 259 =------------------------------------------------

I wonder what our children will look like.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 260 =------------------------------------------------

Would you be offended if I asked you to swallow my children?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 261 =------------------------------------------------

That's a nice dress/pants. Can I talk you out of it?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 262 =------------------------------------------------

I bet there's a whole lot of woman under that dress.
or
I bet there's a whole lot of man in those pants.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 263 =------------------------------------------------

Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 264 =------------------------------------------------

If a woman's wearing all red:

I see you have your devil's suit on tonight.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 265 =------------------------------------------------

Did you know that the word 'motel' spelled backwards means 'letom'?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 266 =------------------------------------------------

Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 267 =------------------------------------------------

Let's take a shower together, you smell.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 268 =------------------------------------------------

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 269 =------------------------------------------------

You smell wet. Let's party.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 270 =------------------------------------------------

There's a party in the back of your mouth and I want to come.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 271 =------------------------------------------------

I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 272 =------------------------------------------------

You smell delicious!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 273 =------------------------------------------------

May I end this sentence with a proposition?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 274 =------------------------------------------------

I've got an itch, honey. Lower. Lower. In. Out.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 275 =------------------------------------------------

If I was Elvis, would you screw me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 276 =------------------------------------------------

I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 277 =------------------------------------------------

If you want me, don't shake me, or wake me, just take me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 278 =------------------------------------------------

I'm available for the next hour or two.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 279 =------------------------------------------------

Want to see my stamp collection?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 280 =------------------------------------------------

Want to come see my hard drive? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't
floppy.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 281 =------------------------------------------------

At the dinner table, (if you eat together) pick up the bread and say, "Wanna
roll?"

-= pick-up line humor =-= 282 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 283 =------------------------------------------------

Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the
grand prize is a night with me!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 284 =------------------------------------------------

I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of something else.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 285 =------------------------------------------------

Ever tried those weird prickly condoms? (sure to get responses)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 286 =------------------------------------------------

Funny you should mention that, I was a gynecologist once.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 287 =------------------------------------------------

Cold outside, isn't it? (staring at breasts)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 288 =------------------------------------------------

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 289 =------------------------------------------------

Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 290 =------------------------------------------------

Do you want to get sticky?

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