Monday, October 27, 1997
I am very tired, so I will not write long. The day was fairly busy. My counts from the lab were completely acceptable, so I have treatment tomorrow. I went to get the wig cut today. It is much more manageable now. Well, I must go to bed now. Good night.
Wednesday, December 31, 1997
It has been such a long time since I last wrote, and so many thoughts have gone unrecorded. I am physically feeling quite good lately considering what my body is experiencing. It is a long time when I think about the treatment, and every time that I believe that I am almost halfway there it seems like the time gets extended! I have overcome most of my thinking and fear of death, but then I hear that another patient on my support list has passed on. I know that I am in no true danger now, but that news would bother anyone. Well, that is enough thinking for now.
Wednesday, January 7, 1998
It was fun to have the holidays for a short while. I know that a new year marks my being
even closer to the end of treatment. I did not have my scheduled treatment yesterday,
because my platelets are too low. It will probably be next week instead.I have been taking a nap every day, so there will probably be one this afternoon.
Thursday, February 5, 1998
My steroids started on Tuesday, after a chemotherapy treatment. It is a very high dose of
300mg a day this time! I do not feel too good because of that. My next treatment is just an IV push of chemo next Tuesday. It is not a thing which I particularly anticipate because I do not even have to pass counts to get that treatment! The doctor was talking about my risk for osteporosis yesterday. That gives me all the more reason to drink soymilk because it has calcium. The steroids have made me quite irritable lately. It just does that to a person.
Thursday, October 8, 1998
This time has gone so quickly, and yet so slowly. It has been a tough year, but I feel that the experience has made me a better person. I have more feelings and compassions for those
with serious illnesses, where before I most likely would have been like anyone else
thinking that these people with no hair and/or mental problems were weird or in the case of those with no hair - “punk”. I cannot believe what I used to be like! Sometimes I feel that people do not understand how catastrophically drugs affect me. I tried to laugh at the
irritability my steroids cause in me and take it lightheartedly, even though they made me feel like a complete failure at everything I tried. Tomorrow, I go to my last hospital stay. It will be both joyful and sad. I hope that I do not become emotional at discharge time. I call the hospital “Hotel Torture”, and the last two treatments “The Cancer Diet” because I lose weight. Usually about ten pounds! Everything that has happened in the past year and a third will soon be a memory. I think I like it that way.
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