We were bad kids
spat at old uncle Nietzsche
and trampled all over his
bed of allusions

Give us the Aladdin & Jasmine
Collector's Edition
the recreation, the polymorph,
the quotation, Scene-It

the puerile, the platitude, the perfunctory, the phony

The Mouse vomits authenticity
fuzzy nectar sidewalks
neon LCD altars
Ducks lap up barf and re-regurgitate

into our mouths as we go caroling, singing our most infinite tune:

boxed set the
DVD bonus features our          marketplace research
b-boy platinum track                order the soundtrack
ringtones

this episode sponsored by
Thanksgiving Christmas recipes               The Price is Right!
Jessica and Nick will                           "News: holiday shopping!"
list Letterman's Top Ten

Harry Potter and the
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Finger lickin' good feed
your imagination: read.              JT and 50:
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Hurricane of [name the magnitude]
[and name the damage total] like Ralph Klein on
Blizzards (only DQ) treat coolly the Celebrity Jeopardy
HDTV Slo Mo Replay on CNN?

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With great power comes great
responsibility to let your fingers do the Peer One
Walking in Memphis: hip-hop on the snipes Ikea
pier-reviewed journal, Focker!

You've always got time for Whyte
Avenue pub crawls, Johnny; What would the Dancing Baby
Barq's has bite like Snoop Doggy do for a Klondike Bar?
Dogg eats Kibbles 'n Bits - man tits.

We try harder to Badger
Badger the Star Wars kid, Napster plays the
a forum thread reply to Penny Arcade
download 128k mp3s lol

Over 150,000 women have taken
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See What They Say: Oprah eats!
"Did III do that?"

Lord of the
Rings 50% Valentine's sale - remember Married in OJ's Ford Bronco
"Diamonds are forever" and Marinated in Jesus Juice
Always Coca Cola...

Some things are priceless
on Monday Night Football: Yo quiero ESPN
a Michael Jackson Thriller. and Taco Bell highlights!
For everything else, there's Mastercard.

Cowabunga!
Final Fantasy multiples Point the finger
on chalkboards, on inside-shoes, like to cross the street.
Dragonball Z lunchboxes.

The Oilers drill for talent
in bankbooks and Timbits says Hockey Night in Flames -
Don Cherry pie, Big Mac and fries I'm Lovin' It
for only three ninety nine!

The City, the Depot,
the circuit home office Staples, a West Edmonton Mall:
Best Buy at Futureshop where City of Champions brand!
The Future is Friendly.

We thought we'd heard that one before:
isn't that from-oh that's in-I love that one!
Conan, your Jesus Action Figure gag
floated on every G.I. Joe and Sunday School drawing

the Art of Meaning
is a crocodile voodoo -
we all put our lips to the Ouija board
and dredge up the chain emails

Beyond Good and Evil is
an ethic of Will and Grace:
double-meaning splatters
over a magazine canvas

a bullet into "I can't believe it's not butter!"

Being
----- = (faith in the bubbling mass consciousness)^nth degree
Time

Excuse me, sir, could you spare a loony?