Chorus: repeat 2X
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady

Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class
for one second?

Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try 'cid and get ****ed up worse that my life is? (Huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight
but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's ---s off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ***
faster than a fat ***** who sat down too fast
C'mere ----! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a ****, God sent me to piss the world off!

Chorus

My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high
Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
and stapled his ---- to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender, then stuck my ---- in the tip cup
Extraterrestrial, runnin over pedestrians
in a spaceship while they screamin at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (****!)
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph
(Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ***HOLE!'

Chorus

[Eminem]
Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (**** that!)
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
(Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
(Whoops!) Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll **** anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!)
YOU AIN'T GOT NO ----! (WAHHH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had

Chorus


"GUILTY CONSCIENCE"

"Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old.
Fed up with life and the way things are going,
he decides to rob a liquor store."
(I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes)
"But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.
And suddenly, his conscience comes into play..."
(**** is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this)

Alright, stop! (Huh?)
Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
and try to get money out the drawer
You better think of the consequence (But who are you?)
I'm your mother****in conscience
That's nonsense!
Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs
And borrow a **** dress, and one of her blonde wigs
Tell her you need a place to stay
You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razor blade
Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you
Think about it before you walk in the door first
Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns
**** that! Do that ****! Shoot that *****!
Can you afford to blow this ****? Are you that rich?
Why you give a **** if she dies? Are you that *****?
Do you really think she gives a **** if you have kids?
Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!)
Not over this **** (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you
You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude..


(It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute)
(Mmm, I don't know!)
(Look baby..)
(Damn!)
(Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?)
(Well OK..)

"Meet Stan, twenty-one years old." (Give me a kiss!)
"After meeting a young girl at a rave party,
things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
Once again, his conscience comes into play..." (****!)

Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek
and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little *****'s earlobe..
Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old
You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair
Yo, look at her ----.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!)
**** this ***** right here on the spot bare
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there
Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie 'Kids'?
No, but I seen a porno with Sondoobie in
Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?
Man **** that, hit that **** raw dawg and bail..

"Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker.
After coming home from a hard day's work,
he walks in the door of his trailer park home
to find his wife in bed with another man."
(WHAT THE ****?!?!)
("Grady!!")


Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..
**** that ****, you just caught this ***** cheatin'!
While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?!
**** slittin her throat, CUT THIS *****'s HEAD OFF!!!
Wait! What if there's an explanation for this ****?
What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his ----?!
Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady
But think about the baby before you get all crazy
Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?
That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!

What'chu say?
What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?
I'ma kill you mother****er!
Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!
Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?
Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way?
How in the **** you gonna tell this man not to be violent?
Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went
Been there, done that.. aw **** it...
What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?

"I'm Back"

Chorus:
That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)
I'm Back, (I'm Back)
That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)
I'm Back, (I'm Back)
That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)
I'm Back, (I'm Back)
That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)
I'm Back, (I'm Back)

I murder a rhyme one word at a time
You never, heard of a mind as perverted as mine
You better, get rid of that nine, it aint gonna help
What good's it gonna do against a man that strangles himself?
I'm waitin for hell like hell shit I'm anxious as hell
Manson, you're safe in that cell, be thankful it's jail
I used to be my mommy's little angel at twelve
At thirteen I was puttin shells in a gauge on a shelf
I used to, get punched and bullied on my block
Til I cut a kitten's head off and stuck it in this kid's mail box
I used to give a, ****, now I could give a ****less
What do I think of success? It sucks too much press I'm stressed
Too much cess with agress too upset it's just too much mess
I guess I must just blew up quick, yes
Grew up quick, no, was raised right, whatever you say is wrong
Whatever I say is right
You think of my name now whenever you say hi
Became a commodity because I'm W H I T E,
Cuz MTV was so friendly to me, can't wait till Kim sees me
Now is it worth it? Look at my life how is it perfect?
Read my lips *****, what, my mouth isn't workin?
You see this finger, oh it's upside down
Here let me turn this mother****er up right now

Chorus

I take each individual degenerates head and reach into it
Just to see if he's influenced by me if he listens to music
And if he feeds into this shit he's an innocent victim
And becomes a puppet on the string of my tennis shoe
My name is Slim Shady, I been crazy way before radio didn't play me
The sensational, "Back is the incredible!"
With Ken Kaniff who just finds the men edible
It's Ken Kaniff, on the internet
Trying to, lure your kids, wit him into bed
It's a, sick world we live in these days
Slim for pete's sakes put down Christopher Reeve's legs!
Sheez you guys are so sensitive
Slim it's touchy subject try and just don't mention it
Mind with no sense in it, tried to get so frenetic
Whose eyes get so squinted, I'm blind from smokin 'em
Wit my windows tinted, wit nine limos rented, doin lines of coke in 'em
Wit a bunch of guys hoppin out all high and indo scented
And that's where I get my name from, that's why they call me

Chorus

I take seven kids from Columbine
Stand 'em all in line
Add an AK - 47, a revolver, a nine
A mack 11 and an all assault a problem of mine
A natural old school a bully shot em all at one time
Cuz I'm Shady, they call me as crazy
As the world was over this whole Y2K thing
And by the way, N'Sync, why do they sing?
Am I the only one who realizes they stink?
Should I dye my hair pink and care what y'all think?
Lip sync and buy a bigger size of earrings?
It's why I tend to block out when I hear things
Cuz all these fans screamin is makin my ears ring
So I just, throw up a middle finger and let it linger
Longer than the rumor that I was stickin it to Christina
Cuz if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
It'd be Jennifer Lopez and Puffy you know this!
I'm sorry Puff, but I don't give a **** if this chick was my own mother
I still **** her with no rubber and cum inside her
and have a son and a new brother at the same time
and just say that it aint mine, what's my name?

Chorus

Guess who's back (back)
geh- geh- guess who's back
Hi mom
Guess who's back
geh- geh- guess who's back
D-12
Guess who's back
geh- geh- geh- geh- guess who's back
Dr Dre
Guess who's back, back, back, back
Slim Shady
2001
I'm blew out from this blunt (sighs)
****

"Marshall Mathers"